Coffee First, Your Stupid Shit Later Grumpy Bastard Socks

Because before caffeine, you’re dead inside and full of hate.

These socks are for the man who knows that until the sacred brown nectar touches his soul, all conversations are a crime and all people are suspects. Soft, breathable, and soaked in caffeine-fuelled contempt, they’re the perfect footnote to your pre-coffee rage.

Whether it’s Karen’s 8am spreadsheet drama or Todd’s unsolicited crypto advice — these socks have your back (and your feet) while your brain tries to reboot.

Comfortable. Cranky. Caffeinated.

Machine washable. Do not disturb before espresso.

Warning: Side effects may include eye rolls, heavy sighs, and the urge to yeet mugs.

• OSFM - Men's shoe size 8-12
• Woven with a blend of combed cotton, nylon for strength and durability and elastane for stretch. 
• Packed in a luxury box with ribbon pull tag