Older. Wiser. Fartier Card

💨 Older, Wiser, Fartier Card 💨

Ah yes, the three undeniable stages of aging:

1. Older (your knees click louder than your Spotify playlist).

2. Wiser (you now know that “all you can eat” is a trap).

3. Fartier (a symphony follows you everywhere).

This card tells the truth no one else will:
“Older, Wiser, Fartier.”
It’s not poetry, it’s biology.

Perfect For:

• Birthdays 🎂 (especially the kind with enough candles to trigger the smoke alarm)

• Dad, Grandpa, Uncle Joe 👴 (a.k.a. the family brass section)

• Best mates who laugh at fart jokes harder now than they did at 12

• Yourself (because self-awareness is key)

Card Specs (aka Gas-Powered Features):

• Premium cardstock, sturdier than your digestive tract. A6 size.

• Blank inside — write something heartfelt, or just draw cartoon toots

• Envelope included, so the smell is optional

• Guaranteed* to make the recipient giggle-snort
  (*Guarantee based on 97% of humans finding farts funny, 3% are liars)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Highly Mature Reviews:

• “Gave this to Dad. He laughed so hard he farted. Circle of life complete.” – Jake, Daylesford

• “Perfectly summed up my brother’s entire existence.” – Emma, Perth

• “My grandma thought it was hilarious. Then she blamed the dog.” – Lucas, Gisborne

• “Opened it, laughed, immediately needed Beano. 10/10.” – Rachel, Maleny