💨 Older, Wiser, Fartier Card 💨
Ah yes, the three undeniable stages of aging:
Older (your knees click louder than your Spotify playlist).
Wiser (you now know that “all you can eat” is a trap).
Fartier (a symphony follows you everywhere).
This card tells the truth no one else will:
“Older, Wiser, Fartier.”
It’s not poetry, it’s biology.
Perfect For:
Birthdays 🎂 (especially the kind with enough candles to trigger the smoke alarm)
Dad, Grandpa, Uncle Joe 👴 (a.k.a. the family brass section)
Best mates who laugh at fart jokes harder now than they did at 12
Yourself (because self-awareness is key)
Card Specs (aka Gas-Powered Features):
Premium cardstock, sturdier than your digestive tract. A6 size.
Blank inside — write something heartfelt, or just draw cartoon toots
Envelope included, so the smell is optional
Guaranteed* to make the recipient giggle-snort
(*Guarantee based on 97% of humans finding farts funny, 3% are liars)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Highly Mature Reviews:
“Gave this to Dad. He laughed so hard he farted. Circle of life complete.” – Jake, Daylesford
“Perfectly summed up my brother’s entire existence.” – Emma, Perth
“My grandma thought it was hilarious. Then she blamed the dog.” – Lucas, Gisborne
“Opened it, laughed, immediately needed Beano. 10/10.” – Rachel, Maleny
